"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dance has been not just a part of my life but a way of being for as long as I can remember. When people ask me "Are you a dancer?" it is difficult to answer. What they mean generally is, "Are you a trained dancer?" and the answer to that is no, but I answer yes, always, to that question because I am even more than that. I am a BORN dancer. Dance is natural to us all, but for myself that was never a question. Dancing, from my earliest memories has been my expression of heart and soul, my meditation in motion, my offering and prayer. Dance is my direct connection to source, to divinity. When I dance I feel whole and perfect, the fullest expression of me, raw and pure.
In fact, anyone who knows me well knows that when music is on I am compelled to move. I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame. No matter the setting or situation, if a song comes on that I love all sense of propriety or social nicety is out the window. I am overtaken by a primal impulse of prana ( life force), if I try to resist I will almost always lose. If, for some reason, it flashes through my mind to hold back or stay small there is an immediate internal revolution, a coup d' etat. The dancer in me demands to be fed, to be awake and alive, and that is a great thing. When the dancer wins my spirit wins, my joy wins, my path to liberation opens.
This past Saturday evening at a local community soiree I was feeling mellow, almost bored, until the DJ started and once my feet hit the dance floor it was all over. I let loose like a whirling dervish of endless energy. I noticed people taking notice, and internally felt that inclination to hold back and stay small, but the dance dance revolution was on.I love to dance and do it big, no holds barred, and that is what I did.
The downside to all this is that I have a deep fear of being judged and rejected. There is a part of me that wishes to stay small, to blend in, to conform. I have rarely had experiences of feeling like someone who fit in. I have always been a bit of a square peg. As a kid I remember feeling a great kinship to the residents of The Island Of Misfit Toys on the Rudolph television special. This misfit hood followed me into adulthood and caused me much misery. Then I found yoga, which eventually landed me at Kripalu center, where I discovered Yoga Dance. I have never felt more at home. That feeling of having found MY PEOPLE was miraculous and truly magnificent. Yoga Dance allows me to fully express myself and to heal, it moves energy in a way that awakens and strengthens every layer of being, it reminds me who I am. Out here in the world though, I sometimes forget and fall back into old storylines, but my Kripalu kindreds are there waiting to boost me up and bring me back. Thank GOD for all of you!!
The gift is that more and more I am able to go with my inner flow and let my spirit soar, big and bold as it wants to be. VIVA LA REVOLUCION!! DANCE ON!!!! This Blind Melon song and video illustrate my feelings about self expression, dance and finding my Yoga Dance family perfectly.