Honoring Independence

 The Fourth of July is this country's celebration of the rising up of the people against oppressive forces in order to claim a birthright of freedom. Freedom to have representation of the people in the government, freedom to make a life and a living, freedom to worship or not, freedom to be fully expressed as individuals. Sacrifices have been made by many through the years to protect freedom and to see it evolve and grow. We celebrate and honor all who have fought and debated, those who have marched and moved mountains of resistance in the name of justice and equality.

 I think the best way to honor the spirit of this holiday and this country is to make our own individual declarations of independence. We can all take stock of the areas in our life that are longing for expression which we hold back or suppress. It is time to widen our vision, to be creators and innovators, to collectively renew our individual spirit and drive so the whole can thrive. We all have gifts to offer and perspectives and insights to share. Say what you think, express what you feel but do it in the spirit of forward movement and mutual respect. This country is about allowing for differences of all kinds and the evolution and progress that happens when we challenge each other and inspire each other to be better people, to thrive in community as well as individuals. Don't try to fit in, break out, be bold, rock the boat and question the status quo both around you and in you.

That is the spirit of independence that has made this country great. Honor it and make your declaration loud and proud!!        

Solar Power

 Today is the first day of summer. It is my favorite season, and I have to say it is no wonder to me that sun worship has had a place in the hearts of people since the dawn of time. I delight in the radiance, warmth and beauty of the sun, despite my fairer than fair freckled skin that is always on the brink of burn. A little sun changes everything, well, it does for me at least, brightens the mood, makes me smile. I love to dance all the time, but especially in the sun.

  My best memories of childhood are in this sumptuous season of peaches so juicy they dripped down my face and arms, bright jewel tone watermelon, diving into the cool of my backyard swimming pool. I would ride my bike on grand adventures through my small suburban neighborhood. At night I would play kick the can with the kids next door. Summer brought back my kindred spirits; toads, butterflies, and beetles. The long grass a wonderland and hideaway. Summer, a season of magic, dreams and dancing, and dance I did every chance I got.

  Now, in my house, in a little woods I feel that same anticipation and relish experiencing it with my own kids. Our little backyard pool guarded by towering elder trees, air full of bird songs and buzzing bees. Our brook that bubbles with delight, and frogs, salamanders and turtles to befriend. Dances and laughter with my girls, and my son looking for wild mushrooms and may apples. Life itself seems more spacious with the longer days, we linger in the light, with room to ease back into the repose of the evening. We tell stories and light fires, roast marshmallows and are warm in a deep togetherness that feels almost tribal.

  Summer is a season of sweet ripening, of stepping into that light. Ancient traditions observe this as a time of power and action, a calling to move forward boldly. We are of the earth, and become more enlightened and empowered by connecting to earth's rhythms and cycles. Summer solstice celebrations bring people together. Traditions include fasting and feasting, fire rituals and of course song and dance.
The fire element is transformational, it can burn away what is no longer useful so that new life might spring forth from within us. It is a call to be powerful and creative, but also to lean back and enjoy, to savor the sweet juice of life.

 Dream a dream and let it float on dandelion seeds or firefly wings. Dance in the light and roll in the grass. Bite in and let the sweet juice flow, dive into cool waters and gather by the fire.  Feel the magic of this living breathing earth. Sit in tall grass or under those elder trees and be awestruck by the beauty all around us. Feel the solar power and dare to grow.

Sometimes I Get Hooked

  In the last twenty four hours I have been obsessively embroiled in a heated discussion on an online blog collective. I usually read blog articles with an open mind and I might not always agree but there is no visceral or emotional reaction. I am able to hang back, observe, and process, but occasionally something grabs not only my attention but my guts and becomes a flashing neon target, and I take the bait, hook, line and sinker. This article was about all the false arguments and justifications meat eaters use for their immoral and planet destroying penchant for flesh. Honestly I mostly agreed with the premise of the article even though I can currently count myself amongst the cruel destroyers of the earth. I actually would quite like to go vegetarian, vegan is a bit too extreme for me, but I have kids, one of whom is a carnivore through and through, makes it tough.

  What really got me was the tone and delivery of the author's argument. I can boil it down to one line that really hit my sensitive spot. He said,"I am not talking down to you, or judging you. Now get your head out of your butt before it gets lodged in there permanently. See what I did there?" I saw what he did there, he pushed a major button in my pain body.  The whole article smacked of fundamentalism, which I don't think is ever good, no matter the cause. It was condescending, disparaging, and lacking in any invitation to a compassionate discourse, but the epicenter of its explosive effect on me was in that one line. It provoked me to post a comment, which received abrasive and biting comments from other readers and back and forth we went. I could not stop from continuing to defend because they just were not seeming to get my point. I could not disengage even when a wise friend suggested that would be the best course of action.  That hook had sunk in deep, I could struggle but I could not get away. Now I ask myself "Why?"

  This is actually of more interest and consequence to me than my position on the article. What got triggered? Clearly the intensity of my response had something more in it than feeling offended by this author's statement, right or wrong. This had something to do with me. Here it is, I don't like to be labeled as stupid. Stupid hits me deep in my psyche. I was bullied in elementary school (read relentlessly verbally attacked) and one of the most popular offenses was to attack my intelligence or cruelly try to say I did not have any. This is a shadow space, a core wound and the ego goes to great lengths to defend this vulnerable territory, the problem is that the defense causes its own suffering.  To end this cycle of suffering requires deep self love, patience, and a willingness to bring the shadow into consciousness. This does not mean to get rid of the shadow, it holds many gifts and a lot of energy, but to hold it and comfort it, heal it. 
  Whenever we find ourselves reacting to our environment with anger, behind it we will find fear, shame, hurt.  Knowing this might allow us to be more compassionate. The author of this article is clearly angry too and now I can remember that he too must be experiencing fear, sadness, suffering. I still do not agree with his methods but I honor his humanity that  is just like mine. 
   I think we all get hooked. What we don't always do is dig in and figure out why. What does our reactivity point to in ourselves? Going there is the only way to get off the hook.      

Falling For Freedom

     "When I rise up let me rise up joyful like a bird,
       When I fall let me fall without regret like a leaf." Wendell Berry


     The words falling and fear seem to be inextricably tied to each other. Maybe it is because we also associate the experience of falling with another alliteration, failure. I have experienced debilitating, paralyzing fear in my life over failure. I have sunk into deep murky pools of self doubt and depression, waters that echoed with falling, fear, failure. There have been many moments where the struggle became so tiring I wanted to give up, give in, in every cell of my being wanting to sink down to the bottom and surrender to the dark. What I did not know then is that the pain I was experiencing had as much to do, or even more so, with my perceptions and judgmental notions as the facts of my situation. I had bought into the story that I was essentially, irrevocably flawed, that I did not have much to offer and felt the world at large was not on my side. I found it excruciatingly difficult to step into new situations, to move beyond old habits and behaviors or to accept that my successes in life were more than transient flukes. I was quite blind to my own goodness and potential, my gifts, and my fear of failure, of falling, kept me from growing or evolving. I was stifled and often depressed.


 On the other hand I have always had a warrior nature as well. Often in these situations of complete terror my warrior archetype has led me to say yes to things even when my insides were trying to run in the other direction. These situations of ominous opportunity have had various outcomes, some highly successful and some not so successful, but upon reflection every experience, even the ones which by some standards would be called failure or falling down, brought growth, insight, and informed my evolution. In fact I have realized that making friends with falling opens the door to amazing freedom and exponentially accelerated growth. The ability to take a step into fear and the unknown in order to explore the possibilities of life, and grow into our gifts is what we are called to in this life. In this one life to live (or this time around) we have a choice to risk and play, to experiment, expand, to fall and fly or to stay small and caged when the vast sky awaits.

  In my yoga classes I often do an inquiry which I call intentional falling. What we can befriend on a yoga mat we might just carry more and more into life. I begin this exploration by talking about falling. The fact of the matter is that we would have never learned to walk, to ride a bike, to climb or dance without the willingness and ability to fall. Next, we enter a balancing pose such as tree or uptavishta konasana (a seated balance where you hold your big toes and lift the legs up at a wide angle), hold for a breath or two and then playfully allow ourselves to fall, with a smile and a "weeee" or a "wooop". This falling becomes its own new form of warrior two or spinal rocking. This illustrates how when we allow, and flow with the course of life and energy, what might at first seem undesirable, a falling, a "failure", can surprise us and be a gateway to something beautiful, something brilliant.

Our power lies not in our holding on, but our letting go. Fall into freedom and learn how to fly.

Live Your Bliss: Part Three, Live What You Love

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”   Howard Thurman

 Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.”  Rumi

     I will never forget a conversation I once had with a woman about our children and their activities and interests. I told her that my two girls had inclinations toward creative pursuits like dance, art and theatre. She responded by saying that those things were nice hobbies but not good career options. She told me that kids should enjoy those things but better go to college and become doctors or lawyers. I was speechless, and later, upon reflection I felt sad for her and her kids, but not in a judgemental way because this is endemic in our current culture. We are indoctrinated into a value system based on credentials, status, and wealth and it is no easy task to go against that stream. The problem is that it is a sham, unless we value those things over health, happiness and true fulfillment, which often times and in many cases we do. In addition, even though we know it is a sham, because many of the people living at the pinnacle of these values (think famous and rich people) are deeply troubled and depressed or worse, we keep buying in.  This is not the path to bliss.

 The path of bliss lives within us. We are all born with unique gifts and talents, the things that light us up and make us come alive with joy. We are all creative beings with deep soul callings that long to be expressed. Some people are born artists, some born healers, some born lawyers or builders or chefs, and we all have multiple and evolving interests and passions. Bliss is found in the listening to and trusting the inner whisper of spirit, noticing what we find beautiful and inspiring and then creating it, birthing it in our lives. Once we start allowing space in our daily lives for an exploration of what moves us and let the creative process start to form, doors start to open, opportunities unfold. It might begin with reading an article, taking a class, starting that hobby, but who knows where it might go, how it might blossom. There are also plenty of stories out there about people who have left high power jobs and unhappy lives to do something completely different, and end up finding contentment and fulfillment off the beaten path.

If you have a desire in your heart, a dream, an inspiration it is there for you to discover and manifest. Deepak Chopra says, "Within every desire is the mechanics of its fulfillment."  Also make a commitment to try something new at least once a month or go somewhere you have not been, broaden your horizons and expand your life beyond your comfort zone."It is your job to discover your unique talents and then manifest them in your own unique way." says Debbie Ford  Indeed our happiness and impact on ourselves and those around us is our responsibility and our birthright. The currents around us might be strong but one by one we can awaken and live in a new way. Live by example and change the world!

 If you know someone who needs to hear this message then pass it on!

It's Never Too Late

"It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
George Elliot

  It was forty years in the making, but no less a spectacular rush, my first time dancing on stage. No it was not Broadway by any stretch of the imagination, but in a way it was even better. This was a family affair, my two daughters and I sharing in this performance experience, bonding in the dance. To finally take a place on stage, with lights, an audience and my girls right there with me was the sweetest validation and a stepping into my becoming what I might have been, a performing artist of dance.

  I have always been a dancer, I have always danced just as I breathe and eat, but it never occurred to me in my youth that dance could be a vocation, a life pursuit. Like many young adults I stumbled around looking for my life purpose, a major in college which would then get me what everyone is "supposed" to get, a job, a career, a livelihood. All of those endeavors were really great and I traveled, explored, experienced and did some valuable growing (some of it quite painful, all of it rich). I graduated and got a job. Yet my career path, as successful as it was becoming, did not fill me up at that soul level. I did not have passion or fire as a business manager. I felt stunted and stressed, suffocated, my spirit was crying for change.

  I became a mother and left my job to enter the vocation of caring for and nurturing my family. In that role I found myself. I found myself stronger and more loving than I thought I could possibly be. I discovered a wellspring of courage and vitality, and in mothering I found the need to express, the need for channels of self discovery. I felt deeply that to be the best mother I could be I had to dig into my own growth and creative potential. I went to art school for photography, I did not finish but became skilled enough to feel I had vision and artistry. I found yoga, a true love, a calling, finally a soul aligned path, because like dance, yoga is a body and breath centered creative form rooted in spirit. I became a yoga teacher, and through that encountered yoga dance, and another gateway opened to becoming more myself , coming home and feeling complete. I became a certified Let Your Yoga Dance teacher four years ago and now assist the teacher trainings.

  So this year I turned forty and decided to take my very first formal dance class at the dance school my daughters attend. Adult Hip Hop with Ms. Bambi, known for her effective and disciplined instruction and not one to fill you up with empty compliments. I went to my first class a tangle of terror, afraid that I would find out, after all this journeying, that I did not "have it" or it would be too challenging. After a couple classes Ms. Bambi came up to me and said, "Wow, you are really good. Do your girls know how you can move?"  Another affirmation of my inner knowing and the total blissful gift of following that inner voice.  And then came the show, being on that stage was  like a rite of passage sealed with lights, glitter and applause. I follow my mantra, "Dance On!", and so it is.

I feel so very blessed to be on this path of awakening and self discovery. I am excited to see what evolves, what journey or exciting twist of fate will show up next. Everything and anything becomes possible if you just believe, "It is never to late to become what you might have been."

What is your dream, your might have been, waiting to be dusted off and breathed back to life?
What are you waiting for?          

           

Channeling To My Core

  I recently graduated from a year long yoga training called The Acharya Intensive. This program brought me into a year of study, relationship and deep growth with eleven other seekers on the path, two brilliant and wise teachers, and support staff. During this year we committed to various studies and practices, we dedicated ourselves to going deep and doing it in the safe arms of our community. We shared and opened up our very souls to each other, we laughed and cried. We bore witness to each others pain and struggles as well as our brilliance and joy.

  One of the experiences we explored last week was a guided meditation and channeling. We were partnered up and took turns, one being the partner diving in, and the other holding space and being a guiding angel. We were expertly led to first feel what was behind us, all the people events and experiences that had brought us to this point in our lives. We then attuned to the present and all that currently exists in our lives. Our partner grounded us and guided us to sit, at which time we were called to feel inside and speak, with the angel partner serving as witness and scribe. This speaking was to just come, with no worry or consideration of what to say. This speaking was to come through source or spirit, what can be called channeling.

   You might think that this is total bologna or totally crazy, new age hocus pocus. Whatever, doesn't matter. What I know is that, call it what you will, there is a deeper intelligence that lives in all of us. We experience it as intuition, calling, drive, natural talent, luck, wisdom. We might be stuck in our monkey mind most of the time but that deeper space of source and connectivity does exist, and we definitely tapped into that in this experience.

 Here is what I spoke as I channeled from source.  A message for me that might just speak to you.

    " It's ok to let go. See everything that you have been through, that you have done, and see clearly that you have always been guided and supported. It is time to surrender, to receive all of who you are, and to know that even the things that seem like a burden are gifts. To trust that the places of challenge and pain and worry are showing up with great wisdom. Know that you will be alright. You have always been supported and you always will be.

   Remember who you are, and just be that, just be that. All is unfolding perfectly.

   Feel your feet on the ground and the sun on your face. Follow the song and dance in your heart.

   You don't have to be good, you just have to be who you are.

    My dearest Jyotika you are surrounded by light and love and you are light and love."


When all was done, and I read these words, I was deeply touched. All of it rang so true, so right.  This was wise advice from the deep space of soul wisdom.

From this guidance of inner voice we each created a core identification, like a personal mission statement. We also received sanskrit names as is the practice in some yoga traditions. My name is Jyotika which means light. We made pronouncements of these statements at graduation.  

"I Jyotika am here to reclaim myself, my truth. I am a soul dancer of freedom, love, and light. May it be my prayer, my offering, and a force of healing."

Jai Bhagwan